Prayers for wisdom and sensitivity please

     

Some of you will have heard me tell of the encounter I had with one of the Acholi children when I was here in November, and how deep an impact that had on me.

I’m not going to name names, for obvious reasons, but this little lad, who has always had a winning smile, made a full-pelt bee-line for me on my final day at Acholi last visit, and threw himself into my arms with a massive grin – he absolutely broke my heart, and it just felt so much as though he was saying that he trusted me to help make his life better. A pivotal moment to say the least!

Having had many conversations with CRED and others over the years about the merits and problems of child sponsorship, and having considered that in the context of the Acholi community as follow up to various individual team members requests, the outcome at those times was that in general individual sponsorship isn’t the ideal, as it can easily lead to perceived preferential treatment, supporting some over others etc.

But then I find myself in the position of heart versus head, with my heart very much wanting to support this individual, whilst my head is saying ‘remember the discussions with John!’

So, having got home, and been woken night after night by the situation, I had an e-chat with John about it, and left him to do some investigating. Long and short of it is that we discovered that this little lad, who I will call Smiler, had some alleged (due to lack of money for proper assessment) significant medical needs that weren’t being treated, and this was seriously hampering his progress. You’d not have known from his outward attitude to life which always seemed to be one of smiles and bounce, but in fact in retrospect I can see that there were times when he didn’t bounce along, and when a smile seemed harder work.

Anyway, John and I, in conjunction with the head of the Acholi community, agreed that it was acceptable to provide some financial support to at least get Smiler properly diagnosed, and hopefully treated.

This was done, and the diagnoses of TB and pneumonia came up. Smiler is now being treated correctly for them, in a low-cost way at least, and John reported back yesterday that there has been a marked improvement in his health as a result – praise the Lord.

But I also learnt other things about the family background, and this is where I need prayers for wisdom and sensitivity. It turns that Smiler lives with mum and dad, which is good, as well as several siblings (not sure how many), but that dad is a chronic alcoholic and, as far as mum is concerned, no real use to the functioning of the family in any positive way. Mum, in her desperation to earn money to keep the family going, is out every night selling herself to whoever will have her – and the children look after themselves and manage on very little food.

Such a sad story, although unfortunately all too typical in poverty-stricken slum areas, and yet this time it isn’t just a story – I have a personal connection.

In some ways I’d like to meet mum, and give her a great big hug, and chat with her about options for ways forward. And yet at the same time, my pale skin means I stand out somewhat, and ‘smell of money’ to onlookers. Thus it could be that the best thing is to stay with the team, and leave the discussions and negotiations to John and Harriet. I’d so like to help the family more, and find ways for them to have some nutritious food, for mum to get out of prostitution, for the children to get to school, for dad to get help (if he would accept it)– and yet at the same time I don’t want to take away their dignity through misplaced charity.

This is why CRED has local partners, so that we can work through them, and not let our western ideals and potentially non-contextualised generosity get in the way. And I am so grateful to John and Harriet for helping me give Smiler the support so far.

Please pray for us all to have wisdom on the best way forward, and sensitivity on how to proceed, for the good of all the members of the family, within the context of the wider community. May I be the hands and feet and heart of Jesus, whatever that should look like in this particular situation.