Orphans and vulnerable children – what is their best option?

According to the United Nations, when a child is orphaned, the best option for his or her ongoing care is to place that child with extended family, and not in a children’s home. That way they will grow up within the love and support of their wider family, rather than having to deal with the trauma of being removed from the family and friends that have been with them from birth and having to settle into a new family.

As a result of that UN philosophy, here in Kenya there is a move to close down children’s homes, and switch all child-care to being community based. The children’s homes haven’t necessarily been found to be lacking, or done anything wrong, and the children in them may be very happy; but what the UN says goes, and so the future is looking unsettled for children’s homes.

The thinking behind the UN’s conclusions all sounds very reasonable, justified and with the child’s best interests at heart; and if all things were equal I would go along with it whole-heartedly.

But over the past three days, some of the children that I have met and their stories that I have heard are enough to bring questions to the table. Children who have been orphaned and then left to be raised by their aunts or uncles but then being abused, neglected, used like servants and worse. Children who have been orphaned and then the wider family have thrown the child out, as they just can’t afford to feed another mouth. In those cases, is it right for the child to be left in the community, or to be taken in by a children’s home?

Of course I recognise that not all children’s homes are perfect, and I also recognise that there are many positive stories of children who have been orphaned and then been absorbed into very loving homes in their community – either wider family, or other foster / adoptive parents.

But as I have gone round the children’s homes as part of my visits over the past few days, and seen so many happy smiling children, who are emotionally secure, playing with their new ‘brothers and sisters’, doing well at school and thriving in a loving environment, I have certainly seen the evidence that children’s homes can work.

Not all the children are orphans – some still have living relatives, and their stories can be even worse, hence the need for them to be removed from their family situation. But again, they are thriving in the children’s homes, knowing love and security, and no longer having to endure horrific, and sometimes life-threatening experiences.

Surely there is room for both systems to live alongside each other – for children to have the opportunity to live in the community when the conditions are right, and they have a lovely caring family in which to be raised. But if those circumstances can’t be found, is it so wrong if the alternative is a well-run, loving children’s home?

Ultimately, the primary focus must be what is best for the child – they must remain at the heart of it all. So, may those making the decisions come out of their ivory towers long enough to actually look at the evidence, maybe even speak to the children, and hopefully go back recognizing that one size doesn’t fit all.