Cindy - a story of inspiration

Cindy works for ILA, which is where I've been based this past week, doing phase 1 interviews for my research. 

Cindy was one of those I interviewed, but then wearing a different hat, I also signed off her completed training as a 360Life authorised trainer. As part of that, I asked her to write a short bio of herself. The following is what she wrote, and she has given me permission to share it in its entirety, as she hopes that her story will give others encouragement to others.

Cindy said - 'if my story, of all that I've had to endure, can help even one other person, then it is worth it'.

So, over to Cindy, to tell her story: 

'My name is Cindy. A mother of two, I am working for I Live Again Uganda as Community Outreach Officer helping the Refugees who come to settle in Uganda. I have a bachelor’s in development studies, a degree in Development studies and a Certificate in Teaching Profession. I share my story to encourage others that anything is possible, no matter what start you had. You must dream and believe.

I grow up a total orphan (Orphan) when I lost my parents. I became the head of my Family (Child headed), and I got married when I was 17 years old (Child mother) because I had no one to fight for my wellbeing. The only paper I had was senior4 Certificate which could not help me to get any job yet.  I gave birth to two children - a girl and a boy. Life has never been friendly to me, and it was unfortunate that the man I married was Lazy, drunkard, arrogant and remorseless.  No week ever passed without me being beaten and chased away from home by him but I had nowhere  to go, being an orphan. I was put in Prison by one of his girlfriends after she attacked me. Putting me in Prison was a way of chasing me away forever but still I came back to my husband after one month in Prison.

When I was released, I went back home, and I found my things thrown outside. So, I had to collect my things and went to stay with my Maternal great grandmother. I was 22 years when I became a Single Mother. I stayed with my great grandmother for 2 years before I went to paternal grandfathers’ home where I am with my children up to now.  

While I was still with the children’s father, because he was lazy, we were fully depending on his father. This gave me idea of starting small business. I could remember what my grandfather use to tell me “Use your brain Cinderella don’t depend totally on my ideas. I am aged now, train your brain to think and know that where there is a problem there is a solution. Don’t waste time complaining, spare your time to get solution to your problems, have a dream to guide you”

Business ideas crossed my mind. I went and borrowed 3000 Ugshs from a friend and bought cooking oil and flour and started making Chapatti.  I saved some money, and I bought charcoal and started selling it beside the Chapati. When I came to stay with my grandmother I continued with the same business, saving when I could but still having to feed the children.

I applied for a 2-year certificate course at one of the government Primary Teachers College while I was still with him. My school fees were partly paid by the government and even though he put me in prison, I finished my course. Through my small business, I paid the balance, rented a grass thatched house, bought milk for my son and food for us. While waiting for my Teaching Certificate, I was given a teaching job in a primary School and the parents paid my small salary until my name was confirmed for a government paying role.

With this salary I enrolled for a 2-years Diploma Course in Gulu University weekend Program to give me time to work during the week. I took my children to school, so I could pay their school fees and my tuition with the little salary I was getting. After that I enrolled again for another 2 years course in Community development. I finished this course when my first born was in senior four and the brother in senior two.

After finishing that Course I left teaching and joined a NGO for good payment as I was aiming for my Bachelor Degree. God blessed me and I got a job with Samaritans of Gulu where I worked for 9 years. Immediately when I got this job I enrolled for a 3 years course Degree  in Development studies. Immediately I finished my course, my daughter enrolled for her bachelor’s degree in public administration. As she finished her course the brother also enrolled for a bachelor in Procurement and supply chain management which he has just finished this year May 2022. I paid University fees constantly 12 years without any break.

My parents left me and my siblings without a home. I thought to go back for my Masters but I feel I should build my own home and get away from my grandfather’s place. I have already bought the land and started building my home. When it is complete I will start planning for my retirement.

The training to gain the 360 Life license has empowered me so much, even more than I already had been.  I will use it to help my children as they grow up, and also during the delivery of the program at the refugee settlement in my work with ILA. It has helped me to know who I am. It has encouraged me so much.'

What a story! It is the privilege of working with people like Cindy that keeps me coming back here, time and time again. I pray that you are somehow also blessed by her words. 

 

 

A few reflections - end of week 1

 The week started with a slightly tense flight to Kenya via Cairo. The airline had allotted a 1-hour transfer slot in Cairo, but when we took off from Heathrow 60 mins later than our departure time, I wasn’t sure that the connection would be made. However, knowing it was out of my hands, and that if I was stranded in Cairo then the airline would have to accommodate me, I lifted it to God in prayer and then let it go. I must admit I was quite surprised at how well I let it go – I’m certainly not always so successful on that front, but this time I managed it pretty well.

As it turned out, the pilot must have put his foot down, and we got to Cairo 20 mins before the Nairobi flight was due to depart. So, a quick run through the airport, combined with the knowledge that there were 15 others trying to make the same connection, some of whom couldn’t run as fast as me, and the assumption that the airline would prefer to hold the flight than have to accommodate 16 of us – it all turned out OK and I got to Nairobi on the planned day. Thank you God!

I then had a very welcome day of rest in Nairobi, which meant that I was able to sit in front of the TV and watch BBC coverage of the Queen’s Funeral. It was very special to share it with folks from Kenya who were staying at the same guesthouse, and to answer as best I could the many and varied questions about the different members of the royal family – who everyone was, who was related to who etc. I didn’t do quite so well on the explanations about the different bits of the armed forces, but BBC news website helped fill in the gaps!!

In the evening of that Monday, I met with Timothy, a staff member of the Kenya branch of Good News Jail Ministries, and we discussed the training that is being planned for me to deliver later in October. It was wonderful to chat with him, and to hear about their work, their challenges, and their vision, and to discuss the plans being made for the training. The passion that he has for transforming positively the lives of the prisoners was wonderful to hear, and I look forward to meeting with the rest of the team in due course.

Tuesday was a flight to Uganda and various bits of admin in town, plus time with Sophie and with Patience. And then Wednesday was the long drive up to Gulu, 336km north of Kampala.

I’ve been to Gulu several times before, always to work with the same wonderful organisation – I Live Again Uganda. This time was no different, and it was a joy to be back. My focus for this trip however is different to previous. Yes, I am still partly wearing my CRED and 360Life hats, but this visit has a key focus of carrying out the first set of interviews for my PhD.

First off I met with Benson Ocen, founder of ILA, and recorded his telling of the story behind the organisation. It was a privilege to hear him sharing his thoughts and reflections on this, including first hand memories of the trauma and horror of the conflict that ravaged northern Uganda.

Then I carried out two interviews with female staff members of ILA. Names to be with-held, but the focus for each interview was looking at how women, with lived experience of trauma caused by conflict, understand and make sense of the concept ‘wellbeing’. The interviews went so well – thoughtful, considered answers, that included reference to their personal experiences, and also touched on some of the different paradigms that underpin my research.

After almost 2 years of getting to this point of the research process, including jumping through copious bureaucratic hoops and form filling, it was so good to be finally carrying out the interviews and hearing so many gems of insight coming from them. Definitely had moments of excitement that it was all coming together at last, and I’m looking forward to the next three interviews next week.

I felt so humbled to be sitting with each of these ladies, reflecting on aspects of their life and the traumas that they’ve been through and come out the other side of. And so honoured that they were willing to open up, and divulge some of their past, in the hopes that, in some small way, their participation in this research will help other women in the future.

In a later blog I’ll share some of the pearls from the interviews, but for now I’m just thankful to God that it is all coming together.

The other special time was a trip out to a village deep in rural Gulu district to see Joel, Joseph and Benson carry out part of the ‘Empower’ programme that they deliver to villages and communities who are struggling with the aftermath of trauma. It was a privilege to sit under the mango tree with the village members, and see them so fully engaged with the programme, and clearly getting so much out of it. Testimonies abound on how much lives have been changed by this programme, and it was clear to me, as I watched the session taking place, and also seeing the conversations between villagers as they went home afterwards, that more lives were changed this past week.

Add in many hours of transcribing interviews, lovely conversations with ILA team over lunches, a visit to a new-to-me coffee shop, and to a swimming pool yesterday, both of which resulted in fab times of sharing with folks on the mission field, and a wonderful time of praise and worship at church this  morning, and all in all it’s been a very good week.

Yes, a very sad start with the Funeral, and indeed I’ve been very touched by the various people who have come up to me and offered condolences at the death of the Queen. But overall, a very good start to this trip, and I thank God for all the doors opened, connections made, conversations had, tasks fulfilled, and prayers answered.

Looking forward to week number 2!!

Ministry of Presence

 

Despite the fact that I arrived in Kenya this morning for a 24-hour layover, today was mainly about the State Funeral of HRH Queen Elizabeth. And indeed, most of my day was spent glued to the television at my accommodation, watching the unfolding of events and explaining as best I could the images that we were seeing to my Kenyan host. What a day, what an unforgettable day – British pageantry at its best, but also such beautiful, moving, regal and faith-filled services. Absolutely the best send-off for the most wonderful Queen. Rest in Peace Your Majesty.

But amidst it all, I also had a lovely meeting with Timothy, one of the staff members of Good News Jail Ministries here in Kenya, and for whom I’ll be doing some training later in October. Timothy and I were essentially having a planning meeting for the training, but part of that was about him giving me some updated context of the work of the GNJM prison chaplains, and issues with which they are grappling.

I have no doubt that many of the issues will be similar to those that chaplains in other countries are grappling with – mental health of prisoners, understanding the potential impact of personal trauma experienced, helping prisoners work through their reaction and processing of the crimes that they committed, supporting them as they prepare to be released and return to community etc. These and so many more are issues that the prison chaplains find themselves having to help prisoners work through. Timothy shared about them, and gave insight into them all.

And he then went on to talk about the Ministry of Presence, which is the title that GNJM Kenya are giving to the direction of travel that they want to take as they move forwards in a search of a more effective way of supporting the prisoners. Timothy spoke about how, in the past, the chaplains have tended to go into the prisons with a focus on the preaching side of their role. This has been well received, but the chaplains feel more and more that they want to be carrying out not just preaching engagements, but also a ministry of spending more time just ‘being present’. Sitting with the prisoners, giving them space to talk, to process, to work through their hopes and fears.

It is into this new vision, this new ministry, that Timothy and GNJM have asked me to deliver some training. What an honour! The training is in October, and I’ll update you then on how it goes, but for now – exciting to look forward to. And in the meantime – on to Uganda and a whole load of other activities / tasks / roles to fulfil.